The first year of college is the first time many students are truly on their own. It's a time of change and adjustment for them, as well as parents. So try to be a little flexible, and expect surprises. Lay out personal and financial choices and responsibilities that you feel are appropriate for your son or daughter. And be clear about your expectations.

Teach Your Son or Daughter Financial Responsibility

• Work together to set up a budget and talk about it throughout the year.
• Be clear that you expect them to manage their discretionary expenses.
• Make a list of exactly what you will pay for--and what you will NOT pay for.
• Identify who will be responsible for checking account management.
• Clearly explain the financial realities of debit and credit cards.
• Establish clear rules for credit card usage and payment, if your son or daughter will have one.
• Remind your son or daughter to complete the FAFSA for year 2 soon after January 1st at fafsa.ed.gov.

Help Them Make Smart Choices

No matter how carefully you budget for discretionary expenses, there will be surprises. Think of them as opportunities to teach your son or daughter to spend money wisely. They may need money to pay club dues, join a sorority or fraternity or take a Spring Break trip. When these situations come up, teach them about making choices, accepting trade-offs and living within their budget.

Working During School

There are many benefits to working during college. A job can help pay expenses. Some even offer valuable experience in a specific field of study. Having a job teaches time management and how to prioritize responsibilities. Your son or daughter needs to decide if working would take too much time away from studies or other valuable interests and activities. While some jobs allow studying during work hours, others help build social connections. Also keep in mind that some schools suggest working no more than 20 hours a week.

Confirm Insurance Coverage

• Renter's Insurance
  See if your son or daughter is covered under your property insurance. If not, get a renter's policy.
• Health Insurance
  Most medical plans cover full-time, dependent students up to age 24. Review your policy to confirm coverage. Also find out what proof of coverage is required at the school's student health center.
• Auto Insurance
  Check your family auto insurance policy to make sure you have adequate coverage if your son or daughter is taking a car to school.

Send A Care Package

It's a welcome surprise for every student. Throughout the school year, send packages filled with both practical and whimsical items. Here are some ideas:

• Nonperishable snacks like energy bars, dried fruits, nuts, instant soups
• Homemade cookies and other treats are always welcome
• Fun and games like a Frisbee©, decks of cards, football, crossword puzzles
• Personal toiletries like toothpaste, dental floss, body wash, lotion, disposable razors
• Laundry supplies like detergent and fabric softener sheets, rolls of quarters
• Coupons for savings on items they use regularly
• Gift cards for movies, local restaurants, pizza, coffee, groceries
• Photos of family, friends and pets
• A personal note telling them how much you miss them!

Adjusting to Change

The new independence of college life changes parental relationships. Most parents don't see-or even talk to-their college-age children every day anymore. This is a big adjustment from the high school years. You'll notice the changes most during the first few visits home. Here are some ways to make the transition smooth and harmonious:

• Set realistic expectations for visits in advance so there are no surprises.
• Be clear about your house rules-especially if they're different from those at school.
• Be aware that there should be time spent with family, seeing high school friends and time spent alone.
• Agree to disagree through calm discussion.
• Stay focused on the positive; don't dwell on small conflicts.
• Be sensitive to the values and needs of different generations in your family.
• Understand that your son or daughter isn't the only one who will change during the first year of college-you'll change, too.